Flying Solo: Jenny @ home with all the kids - Derek in Utah with his RDEP buddies

 I organized my containers for my pantry.  I was so excited because they fit so perfectly in the RV pantry too.  I loved organizing the food, but lets see if I can keep it organized ;)

There are many ways to eat an oreo truffle.

This little guy has stopped taking naps and this is how he lasts in the afternoon.  He has great sisters how cuddle and support him during this time.

Magic of homeschooling.  After a long day of school, these kids can play games together.  It is so fun to see these all these kids become such great friends.

Movie/Naptime

These kids are watching Dora the Explorer to learn Spanish for them ha ha.  

Brinley and Ashlyn do flashcards to learn.

We are learning slowly....

Pool Time

For our science unit, we have been learning about different types of safety: fire, natural disaster (perfect time as we prepped for the hurricane, internet, staying home alone, body, water, and cooking.  After the did the cooking lesson, these girls made the cookies. 

Emmett got a haircut by Derek.  He looks like a little man.

Ashlyn researched her own recipe and made this delicious dinner by herself.  I was so proud.

Empanadas

Dad went out of town for to Utah with his dental school (RDEP) friends and so I was holding down the fort as a single mom.  I tried to make it special and fun.  One of the things that the girls wanted to do was a sleepover in the toyroom. They really enjoyed it!

These are our current babysitters Hannah and Savannah.  It was there birthday so we took them out for lunch for 2 reasons; It was their birthday and I promised them 3 years ago that if they finished their personal progress and get their patriarchical blessings, I would take them to lunch wherever they would like.  The girls were excited to treat their babysitters, especially the last time these girls have been to a restaurant was when they were Ashlyn's age, so it was a real treat.

We are so lucky to have our kids have two great babysitter who love and adore our kids!

We went to the zoo to do something a little different that we haven't been to for a long time.  The kids had a great time seeing all the animals.  There is a train that runs and Emmett kept asking if he could go on the train.  He was on cloud nine while we were riding it.  He is at a stage of trains, cars, and planes are so fasinating.  This moment was very special for me to enjoy the excitement from the kids and savoring the moment.

We enjoyed a nice picnic before we went and explored the zoo. 

I had an experience that shook my testimony to the very core a week before we went home to Utah for summer vacation.  I never thought that I would experience a faith crisis to the extent that I did.  I was going to post about my experience by sharing my journey entry, but I would rather share a few tidbits and what I have learned through this experience. 

When I came across some information about the church, it was eye opening and very tramatic for me.  Derek came home from work, and he knew immediately that something was wrong.  I couldn't help but question all the basic principles of the gospel and the simple thought of questioning the existence of God was real at this moment in time.  I was so sad, distraught, and deeply confused.  It is was an experience that I don't wish upon anyone, but it also gave me more empathy for family members and loved ones that experience a faith crisis.  It affected me so deeply, that I was even questioning about whether to continue going to church again.  I remember being on the airplane with tears in my eyes, my mind truly wondering if there is a God and if there is life after this. These thoughts broke my heart, my spirit.

After our trip to Utah, I decided that I want to believe, and I truly believe it is a choice I get to make.  The next few weeks were still very hard and full of questions and while Derek was gone on his trip, I was able to take my time and thoughts into reading these 2 books after the kids were is bed. 

I am so grateful to Scott for sharing this book with Derek a few years ago, because it has been a key in rebuilding my faith in God.   

Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander who is a neurologist who was atheist.  We shared his near death experience and it changed me.  I am seriously a more spiritual being because of this book.  It brought light, hope, and love back into my life because he shares a few principles that struck me to my core.

• There is a God

• We are all loved and connected- to him

• It is  our mission to connect with God

• There is an afterlife and we have nothing to fear.  It is a wonderful glorious place

• We have family on the other side

• Learning is continued on the other side

• Our senses are more real there than here on earth

• We communicate with everything without words- thoughts but more with all the senses and more intensity

• What his experience is like

• LIFE IS ALL ABOUT LOVE!

Isn’t that so powerful.  We are here on earth to learn how to love and truly love.  

While I was reading this book, I felt the Spirit so strongly! I will remember that night because of how strongly I felt it.

The wind was blowing outside the next morning and the leaves where falling.  It was like it was raining leaves.  I stretched out my hands and looked up to heaven.  I was really embracing being in the moment and the thought came to my head, “I surrender to you God.  I know that you are there, I know that I am more than this earthly experience.  I AM LOVED.  

It was an experience that will shape my testimony of God forever.  I also had a thought pop into my head that, “Knowing that I (God) exist will take practice and will be easy to forget”.  In just about 10 minutes later I was questioning my experience ha ha.

I also finished reading Navigating Mormon Faith Crisis and it helped me to embrace my doubt and how it can build my faith.  That is exactly happening to me.  I feel like my faith is deepening because of the doubt that I am searching for answers.  I honestly don’t think I am going to get all the answers, but I honestly don’t feel like I need all the answers.  God exists and he will reveal things over time.  

As of now I know that God exists and my mission is to share LOVE.  

Thomas McConkie has to well known relatives in the church: Bruce R. McConkie (grandpa's brouther on is dad's side of the family) and Elder Wirthlin (is his grandpa, his mother's dad).

He has a neat story himself, but he studies adult psychology.